After Fiancée Met Ex-Girlfriend for ‘Closure’, Woman Supports His Actions

A. reddit to post These words from a woman who called off her wedding after learning about her fiancé sparked widespread support and debate.

A 28-year-old woman named u/Cutiepiegoddess shared in her post that her fiancée and her boyfriend of three years met with her ex-girlfriend to “get closure” without her knowledge. The post has received 13,000 upvotes since it was published.

In the post, the original poster (OP) wrote that fiancee Tom’s ex, Sara, was a recurring presence in their relationship from the beginning. According to his post, Tom recently received a text from Sara expressing her need for “closure.” However, instead of discussing this with his fiancée, he decided to meet Sara alone. OP only discovered this after finding a message on Tom’s phone that said, “Thanks for last night.”

OP wrote: Tom He said it wasn’t anything physical and that he only talked to Sara and stayed there until the early hours of the morning. help him find peace.

“I didn’t believe him,” the OP wrote. “The more we talked, the more I realized he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. I tried to explain how hurtful it was that he was hiding it, especially when he didn’t need to, but it just felt like it was.” ‘friendship jealousy’ problem.

“But here’s the kicker… Tom had the nerve to tell me later that this ‘had to happen’ in order for him to truly move on. He even suggested that Sara come to the wedding ‘as a friend’ to ‘show everyone that this isn’t bad blood.’ ‘ I was stunned.”

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the OP, saying her decision cancel the wedding he was right.

u/Good-Gas-3293 wrote: “He doesn’t voice her at all. If I had a partner who wanted to bring my ex to the wedding, I’d be out real quick.”

“If you don’t get over him and get married, you will face a world of pain in the future. Saying he ‘deserves closure’ when he should be gone, focusing on you and your relationship, sets so many alarm bells,” said u/Accurate_Prompt_8800.

Expert Opinion

news week She spoke about the situation with Leigh Norén, a therapist who specializes in sex and relationships. He said revisiting a past relationship for closure isn’t always a problem, but privacy is.

“The issue at the heart of this person is not that he sees his ex, but that he hides her,” Norén said. “And when she confronted him, instead of understanding that it felt like a betrayal of trust, he retaliated and tried to hurt her, as if he was hurt by her reaction. It’s a really common dynamic in relationships, and it’s probably because they haven’t yet come to an agreement on how to relate to exes in general.”

Norén said it’s crucial to discuss sensitive issues, such as relationships with exes, before marriage. He added that the woman’s decision to postpone the wedding could be beneficial if the couple decides to resolve their issues through therapy or more open communication.

“If you feel in your heart that you no longer want to get married, canceling the wedding is always the right decision,” he said. “Especially if you feel like your trust has been broken.”

Norén also stated that Tom’s actions did not intend to harm his fiancée, but his lack of transparency and suggestion to include Sara in their wedding points to a deeper disconnect.

“It’s not uncommon to feel like you want to see your ex before you get married,” she said. “But talking about wanting to do it before actually going and doing it would show (OP) that she can be trusted and would choose her over Sara any day.”

news week We reached out to u/Cutiepiegoddess via Reddit for comment.