I ask Eric: How to resolve a sibling conflict after your sister reacts harshly to a minor fight?

Dear Eric: I am a 30-year-old young woman. In December 2023, I had a small fight with my sister. His words that hurt me the most were “If we can’t get along, let’s leave this brotherhood.” I was so devastated, heartbroken and lost.

From that day on, I decided not to talk to him like before. He stays in another country and I stay in my own country. I love it. I don’t even want anything bad to happen to you. But these words keep ringing in my head. What should I do?

– Worried Brother

Dear Sister: Your sister’s reaction was so extreme; I wonder if this little fight is really petty to him. It’s possible that he’s overreacting or in an overly emotional state, but suggesting breaking off your relationship indicates that this conflict has a longer history that needs to be resolved.

Likewise, you were hurt enough to accept his offer. This also shows that the wounded feelings between the two of you are just the tip of the iceberg. So what’s actually going on?

Whatever lies beneath the argument, it doesn’t have to be the end.

In fact, by reaching out to open this package, you could disrupt the routine you both are in. If he accepts, try a call. Or a letter if he doesn’t want it.

Start with the basic truth: You love it and want to repair it. To do this, you must talk about how you are hurting and be open to hearing how he or she is hurting. This isn’t easy and can cause both of you to become defensive. But the point of the conversation is “how do we move forward?” to reach the question. Try to get over it. It may take multiple conversations, apologies, and corrections. But hopefully you can reach a point where you feel safe enough to break away from the table permanently.

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Send your questions to R. Eric Thomas at: [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at: rericthomas.com.