Why is young Tanzanian men forming romantic relationships with older women a growing social dilemma?

In response, Vice President Dr. Philip Mpango recently called for research to understand the underlying causes.

But as authorities scramble to understand this trend, experts are already pointing to its root: changing dynamics in family structures and a generation of young men growing up in environments where they see women carrying most of the familial burden.

Bishop Jackson Sostenes of the Anglican Church in Dar es Salaam suggests that the problem lies in today’s parenting structures.

According to Bishop Sostenes, many boys grow up watching their mothers take on responsibilities traditionally assumed by men, leading them to believe such arrangements are the norm.

“Many young boys see their mothers doing everything and form a mental image that this is how everything should be,” he explains.

It is reported that women are the breadwinners in approximately 65 percent of families in Tanzania today.

In search of financial stability, many women join savings and loan groups or take out high-interest loans; This leaves men out of the equation, leaving young boys with few male role models who demonstrate responsibility and self-sufficiency.

Sostenes warns that this change could have profound social consequences.

“The result is a society full of men who lack the qualities of men; they are unable to fulfill the responsibilities expected of them,” he says, adding that if this trend continues, the society could end up with a generation of dependent men. as “sperm donors” rather than contributors.

Founder of Tanzania Boys and Men Ambassadors (TBMA), Dr. Katanta Simwanza echoes Bishop Sostenes’ concerns and notes that parenthood is a major factor in young men’s misplaced priorities.

He believes that inadequate parental guidance has created a group of young men who cannot distinguish between what they should and should not do.

This vulnerability, he says, leads many young men to develop reckless habits, including pursuing older women who can provide financial stability.

“This dependence changes traditional power dynamics as the older woman becomes the decision maker with her financial independence. This makes the young man dependent and determined to continue the relationship rather than pursuing his ambitions,” says Dr. Simwanza warns of the potential mental and health consequences of such dynamics.

Young men often engage in unsafe sexual practices to please their partners, putting themselves at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.

While parenting plays an important role, many see the employment crisis in Tanzania as another factor fueling this trend.

A second-hand clothes seller in Mbagala Mathayo Kihwelo says the scarcity of jobs has left many young men with limited options.

“Life is difficult for educated young people. If your aunt likes you, you stay with her because she has money, which makes life easier,” he says.

The lack of economic opportunities forces many young men into these relationships, seeing older women as a lifeline in difficult economic conditions.

For young men like Kimara’s John Marley, older women become not only romantic partners but also economic mainstays.

“The government should create jobs for us instead of telling us things that don’t benefit us,” Marley says.

But not all young men view these relationships as purely financial arrangements.

Jasper Joel, a barber in Chamazi, believes relationships with “aunties” can provide emotional relief from the pressure and “drama” that comes with dating peers.

“This isn’t just about money. Some of us don’t like being bothered by girls our age. An aunt offers stability; no drama, just interest,” explains Joel.

Cultural change and moral decay?

Religious leaders worry that this trend reflects a deeper cultural and moral erosion.

Sheikh Khamis Mataka, a prominent Islamic leader, sees this trend as a moral crisis.

In his opinion, young men should be brave individuals who not only work for their families but also contribute to the welfare of the country.

Mataka says young men’s preference for personal comfort over family and social duty indicates a fundamental shift in values.

“Young people are known for their knowledge, strength and creativity,” says Sheikh Mataka.

“They are supposed to be defenders of family and national welfare. But when a young man thinks only of his own needs, he sacrifices his honor for quick rewards.”

Mataka warns that this dependency mentality can affect the country’s development if not addressed.

Dependent individuals contribute little, leaving the responsibility to women and older family members.

Risk of single-parent families

This problem could lead to an increase in the number of single-parent households, especially if these young men struggle with addiction even after starting their own families.

Bishop Sostenes is concerned that the impact of this situation may continue if not addressed immediately.

“When an addicted teenager eventually gets married and has children, he or she may continue with the same mentality. “If the wife becomes the main breadwinner, the marriage may fall apart when she gets tired of taking on all the responsibilities,” he warns.

The way forward: Addressing addiction

To counter this emerging trend, Bishop Sostenes and other religious leaders recommend targeted efforts to reconnect young men with productive roles and responsibilities.

Bishop Sostenes calls for the same energy and resources used to empower young women to now support young men in need of economic opportunities.

“We have done a lot to lift up the girl child. “Now let’s shift some of that focus to the boy,” he says.

Recognizing that economic hardship is a key issue, he recommends expanding financial programs and opportunities to young men.

Without such interventions, she warns, Tanzanian society risks becoming a society lacking self-awareness and independence, as the burden of family responsibilities will increasingly fall on women.

Sheikh Mataka encourages religious leaders, parents and the wider society to stand against this addictive trend and says it is a social disease that needs to be addressed urgently.

He feels that the values ​​of self-confidence and duty should be instilled in young men before the situation worsens.

As the debate continues, Tanzanian society faces a critical moment when it is necessary to redefine expectations and responsibilities, especially for young men.

The call to action is clear, but the journey to reshape the mindset and values ​​of a generation remains a significant challenge.