9 Sentences You'll Never Hear a Man with High Emotional Intelligence Say

Expressing how you feel is an important part of making any relationship work, but being emotionally vulnerable isn’t easy for many people. Having a well-developed sense of emotional intelligence allows people to understand their own emotions and also helps them navigate other people’s emotions.

American Psychological Association defined emotional intelligence as people’s ability to process emotional information. Emotional intelligence consists of four specific abilities: being able to accurately perceive emotions, being able to access and express emotions, understanding emotional language, and being able to regulate your emotions to promote growth and overall well-being.

Emotional intelligence paves the way for a safe and secure partnership. An emotionally intelligent partner means he or she is supportive and compassionate when you share how you feel. You’ll never hear an emotionally intelligent man say that your feelings don’t matter. Not everyone may have high emotional intelligence, but establishing relationships with those who do will nourish you greatly.

Here are 9 sentences you’ll never hear an emotionally intelligent man say

1. ‘You shouldn’t feel this way’

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It can be difficult to make space for difficult emotions, especially if they come from someone you love. But a man with high emotional intelligence understands that all emotions are valid and telling someone to feel differently denies their actions and ignores their reality.

Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, shared: how deeply our emotions are tied to our lived experiences. “Emotions influence the choices we make, but they occur outside of our consciousness. Emotion systems can distort how we see the world,” he explained.

An emotionally intelligent man He never says, “You shouldn’t feel this way.” She accepts that everyone has the right to their own feelings, even if they don’t understand how their partner feels or agree with their reaction.

2. ‘You’re overreacting’

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“You are overreacting” is designed to shut people down and force them into silence. An emotionally intelligent man does not ignore how his partner feels, instead choosing to validate her feelings.

Psychologist Nick Wignall explained that emotionally intelligent people do not criticize others. He described criticism as “an unconscious defense mechanism intended to alleviate our insecurities” and added: “Helpful criticism is about making the world better. Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better.”

Wignall acknowledged that being critical is a common human instinct that everyone does sometimes, but the habit of criticizing others is unproductive and hurtful.

An emotionally intelligent man will never say, “You’re overreacting,” because he’s not judgmental about other people’s feelings or his own.

3. ‘I don’t need your help’

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A confident man knows that asking for help doesn’t mean weakness. Asking for help shows that has a high level of self-awareness and understands that relying on the support of others is an important part of making a relationship work. Like Mindfulness coach Moira Hutchison explains“Giving and receiving help can enrich your life.”

It may seem counterintuitive, but asking for help actually enriches relationships rather than weakens them. All relationships are built on a balance of giving and receiving, and an emotionally intelligent man knows that asking for help can bring him closer to his partner and foster a stronger sense of intimacy between them.

4. ‘Why can’t you be happy?’

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Asking someone to change how they feel means: a severe lack of emotional intelligence. Asking someone why they can’t be happy sends the message that having anything other than positive emotions means they are inherently flawed.

Wignall also explained It turns out that pretending to be happy all the time is a key sign that someone has low emotional intelligence. “Because they don’t understand their moods and feelings very well, people with low emotional intelligence live in denial about unpleasant, painful, disturbing emotions,” he explained. “And if they tell themselves they’re happy all the time, they hope they’ll always be happy and never have to feel bad.”

An emotionally intelligent man understands that emotions are complex and cannot be turned on or off based on someone else’s expectations.

5. ‘I don’t have time to listen to this’

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One sentence you’ll never hear an emotionally intelligent man say is: “I don’t have time to listen to this.” Telling someone you don’t have time to hear how they feel actually shows them that they aren’t important enough to listen. An emotionally intelligent man doesn’t push people away when they want to talk about emotional topics; instead, he welcomes discussion, even when it is difficult.

Validating feelings is a indicator that someone has higher emotional intelligence than the average person. Identifying an emotion is the first part of understanding it; this forms the basis for accepting it and then moving on from it.

“Your feelings are always valid, even if they are painful or unhelpful,” Wignall explained. “It’s much easier to accept your painful feelings when you get into the habit of validating them first.”

6. ‘Keep calm’

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Using the phrase “calm down” is a pretty toxic way to talk to someone, especially someone you’re supposed to care about. It ignores people’s right to their feelings and makes them feel small and unimportant.

Telling someone to calm down during a fight It does the exact opposite of what this sentence wants to do. Instead of reducing conflict, it causes people to feel attacked, so they become more emotionally reactive.

Licensed clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. warns that using this phrase has the opposite effect. “The problem with this statement is that it often puts people on the defensive; it implies that their reactions are the problem… It inherently feels invalidating for someone to tell you that your emotions are out of proportion to what’s happening to you.” he said.

An emotionally intelligent man never says “calm down.” You might suggest deep breathing to regulate yourself emotionally or ask for some time alone to process what’s going on, but these are requests that honor someone’s presence rather than denying their feelings.

7. ‘I am not responsible for your feelings’

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An emotionally intelligent man never says, “I’m not responsible for your feelings.” While a man with emotional intelligence knows how to be responsible for his own emotions and understands that no one can control his emotions except himself, he also knows that his words and actions deeply affect other people’s emotions.

A. Study on emotional intelligence published in the journal “Behavioral Science” He explained that having emotional intelligence means: “You acknowledge, accept, and control your own emotions as well as other people’s emotional reactions. You learn about yourself and begin to understand other people’s selves. You learn to live together better.”

“Emotional Intelligence gives you a better inner world to deal with the outer world,” the authors concluded.

Part of emotional intelligence means recognizing that we are all connected. Ultimately, we are all responsible for maintaining our own emotional experience, but telling someone “I’m not responsible for your feelings” an expression devoid of empathy and compassion.

8. ‘You always do this’

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This statement is an extremely critical one to say and focuses on past grievances in a judgmental way. Giving kind and generous feedback about someone’s behavior is part of being in a relationship, but making a harsh declaration like “You do this all the time” is not feedback. expression of deep contempt.

An emotionally intelligent man understands that a person is more than his mistakes. He knows that the best way to inspire someone to change their behavioral patterns is to have a calm conversation rather than accusing them of “always” behaving a certain way.

9. ‘I can’t believe you’re this upset’

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“I can’t believe you’re that upset” is something an emotionally intelligent man wouldn’t say. Having high emotional intelligence means being able to hold space for other people’s emotions without telling them that they shouldn’t experience all of their emotions. denying someone’s feelings sign of low emotional intelligenceThis is often caused by a lack of empathy.

An emotionally intelligent man does not embarrass people. He understands that people process emotions at a different pace. Pushing disturbing emotions aside causes them to resurface at another time; Therefore, an emotionally intelligent man does not expect people to suppress what they feel.

Alexandra Blogier is a writer in YourTango’s news and entertainment team. It covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and everything related to the entertainment industry.