Dear Abby: My daughter’s quick affairs are always doomed to fail

DEAR ABBY: Is there any way I can help my 55-year-old daughter, who has just begun a relationship that is undoubtedly doomed to disaster? She quickly begins living with these men, usually in less than two months. Then my daughter reinvents herself to appeal to HER ideal. Each time relationships end, it costs her a lot and negatively affects her now-adult children.

Despite all this, my daughter continued to work, but four years is a long time in one position. I fear the latest move will limit her employment options once the work-from-home trend softens. Is this like dealing with a drug addict or alcoholic who needs to realize on his own to seek help? This roller coaster took its toll on me too. — MOTHER IS ON THE SIDE

DEAR MOTHER: You can talk until you’re blue in the face to get your middle-aged daughter to understand that what she’s doing isn’t working for her—and I’m assuming you’ve tried more than once. He’s not an “addict” but he’s desperate to find a partner.

When your daughter finally realizes that she doesn’t need to make herself look like a bagel to please a man and that she is fine just the way she is, that she is a successful parent, self-sufficient, and valuable on her own, she may not only feel better about herself, but she may also have better luck finding a partner.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.