Mom Feels Guilty Because She’s More Obsessed With Her First Child Than Her Second

As a parent, your experiences with and feelings toward each child will be slightly different. This is very natural; After all, they are different people.

But one mother was worried that her feelings for her two children were different. more Different, he admits that he loves one of his children more than the other.

The mother admitted she felt ‘so guilty’ for being more obsessed with her first child than her second.

“I have a two-year-old and a five-month-old child” He explained in a Reddit post. “I remember being obsessed when I was first born. Getting wet all the time. “I was crying while I was rocking her because I couldn’t believe she was mine.”

“I took billions of pictures of him as a baby, and I still do,” he said. “Now as a two-year-old I love him even more. That’s my little buddy.”

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On the other hand, she doesn’t feel very attached to her little one.

“Our second child was extremely colicky,” she wrote. “I really couldn’t handle it. Luckily my husband took on most of the parenting responsibilities for her for the first two to three months because I couldn’t handle crying.”

Fortunately, the baby survived this stage. “He’s a super happy little guy now. I love it! he added.

“But I see it more as a little blob that accompanies me and my two-year-old on their adventures,” she admitted. “Infancy seems to be progressing quickly, and that’s kind of… good?”

She revealed that she didn’t take many photos of her second child.

“When I watch the videos I took with my firstborn and see how I interacted with him when he was a baby, everything seems different,” she continued. “I feel so guilty, like I’m failing your second born.”

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It’s possible that what this mother is experiencing is just a phase of having a newborn baby.

While it may sound alarming to read this mom’s story (she did call her baby a “little blob,” after all), it’s just I’m not fully committed to it yet. This is common for parents of newborns who already have other children. According to Parents Magazine.

“When you have your first child, your whole world changes and you must learn to sacrifice and be selfless to care for that child properly,” they wrote. “This sacrifice often ties you to that child. However, with your second child, you have already gotten used to the change in your worldview, and this causes you to feel like you cannot connect with them.”

Heidi Murkoff, What to Expect advice columnist added more confidence to it.

“The truth is, there’s nothing like a first pregnancy or first baby,” she said. “Everything you experience the first time — … it’s all brand new. Life is changing.”

Murkoff also explained that having another young child to care for can also increase this feeling.

“If you’re not as focused on this pregnancy as you were on the first, or you’re not as focused on this baby as you were on the first, there’s a very good reason for that: it’s your first baby,” she noted. “After all, being an expectant mother is no longer a full-time occupation because being a mother already keeps you busy 24/7—especially if your first little one is still very young and needy.”

It is important to know that these feelings are normal and also to seek help if necessary.

Psychology Today insisted that these feelings, which differ between the first and second child, are valid and should be treated as such. However, if you are really struggling, there is no harm in seeking help.

One of the reasons they recommend seeing a therapist is “excessive guilt.” In this mother’s case, it may be helpful to talk to someone about how she is feeling.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a BA in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle and human interest topics.