How to get rid of small talk and have better conversations?

“Risking being a geek, caring too much, getting excited about something, or being too honest is what’s done in the middle of a conversation.”

Why is intermediate speech important?

According to Enfield, this idea of ​​middle speech reflects a modern dilemma.

“We live in such a large society for most people today that we meet complete strangers all the time, every day.

“So we’re trying to figure that out and figure out: ‘OK, I don’t actually have an established relationship with this person, we don’t have common ground, so how do I talk to them?'”

Although mastering middle talk can be difficult, it is central to how we connect with each other in our increasingly fragmented world.

Medium conversation can also be a bridge to friendship because it is more personal.

“60 years of research has found that the more personal information one discloses, the riskier it is more pleasant – we love the people we open up to more, and more self-disclosure makes us love others more,” says Hall.

Frankly, this only matters if the other person takes the bait; i.e. “mid-conversation” potential to speed up making friends through chat.”

One Find out the hours it takes to make a new friendThe banter, catch-up, and meaningful discussions that Hall co-authored all appeared to speed up the process.

But that doesn’t mean we should ignore small talk. Writing about this idea, Hall said: “social biome” The complex ecosystem of our interactions with others means that small talk plays an important role in fueling it.

“Research shows that it is a low-social-energy way to stay in touch with people who share your social space and share observations of a common reality,” he says.

“Short conversation also conveys to the other person that they are worth talking to and are welcome in our shared space.”

How to make a middle speech

Curiosity is the key to moderate conversation, and the best conversations for that matter.

Enfield suggests: “Find out what they know, and then you really learn from them.

“Everybody knows something.”

Although most of us tend to chatter about ourselves, Enfield recommends avoiding long monologues.

Of course, the risk involved in revealing more about ourselves can lead many of us to avoid deeper conversations for fear of rejection.

Loading

But Hall says the payoff is often worth the risk.

“Being a sensitive and inquisitive conversation partner is the thing we have the most control over during conversation; We can’t control how someone else reacts to what we say,” says Hall.

“The good news is that people want to know more about someone who makes a good conversation partner for them. “The social energy you spend on others will eventually come back.”

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.