Dear Abby: Should we keep a family member’s husband away from our children?

DEAR ABBY: Months ago, a family member’s husband was charged with possessing and distributing more than 10,000 copies of child pornography. Police and the Department of Homeland Security raided their homes and seized computers, cell phones and other devices. He was arrested and spent about a week in jail. He got a very good lawyer and all charges were dismissed.

His wife, our blood relative, also stayed with him. He remains married to her and has no plans to leave her. He keeps us up to date on legal developments and says his lawyers believe he won’t face any prison time because “he is in his mid-70s and has not been previously convicted of any crime.”

Even though the accusations are denied, we are uncomfortable with him being in our home because there are young children in our meetings. It is important to note that his wife never denied viewing and distributing these materials. He just said, “They’re turning him into a monster.” How can we continue to support him but also let him know when the time comes that he is not welcome? This chain of events devastated our entire family. — DESTROYED IN THE EAST

DEAR WONDERFUL: Your concern is understandable, but I have to question whether you have all the facts correct. On the one hand, you say that all charges against this man have been dismissed. On the other hand, you say his attorney thinks he won’t serve time because of his age, which makes me wonder if there’s some kind of plea deal and if he’s just required to do community service.

You may want to support this family member emotionally, but if parents of minor children think their husband could be a danger to them, those children need to be protected. And if that means not exposing them to the couple, so be it.