Menendez case is a call to awareness and action against abuse – San Diego Union-Tribune

The tragic story of Erik and Lyle Menendez, Found guilty in 1996 of murdering his parents in 1989and provides service life without possibility of parole Sentences at Donovan State Prison continue to attract public attention and prompt reflection on the complexities of trauma. We, as board members and staff, MenHealingRecognize that current media debates provide an important opportunity to reflect on the profound trauma impact on boys and men who experience sexual violence.

At the heart of the Menendez brothers’ story is a harrowing account of the men’s alleged abuse, which they claim drove them to kill their parents. Their experiences bring to light a critical truth: The sexual victimization of boys and men is often overlooked, trivialized, or ignored. To this day, we maintain a societal blindness to the reality that boys and men are also victims of sexual violence. When Erik and Lyle spoke about their alleged suffering, many responded with skepticism rather than compassion; This reflected a tendency in this country not to believe that boys and men could be affected by sexual violence. This dynamic further increases feelings of isolation among male and female survivors and perpetuates harmful stereotypes about masculinity. Statistics show that men can wait more than 20 years before disclosing their sexual assault.

Members 50% of the MenHealing team has experience working with male survivors and survivors of sexual trauma. 50 years. During this time, we have observed the devastating consequences for boys and men who have been conditioned to believe that accepting vulnerability and pain means weakness. We have witnessed the repercussions of men carrying the traumatic burden of sexual violence in secrecy. This stigma can cause significant psychological and behavioral difficulties, including depression, anxiety, and increased risk of substance use, as well as reactive violence. We regret the scenario where reluctance to seek help stems from a cultural narrative about masculinity that values ​​stoicism and discourages emotional expression. “What happened to you?” The fact that the question is asked so often alarms us. It is silenced or denied by legal intervention.

Our experiences illuminate the importance of creating supportive environments for recovery that expand outreach to serve adult male survivors of sexual violence. As we increase our understanding of the complex repercussions of physical and sexual violence against girls and women, we must make personal and societal changes to include a similar awareness that many boys and men need healing resources to recover from sexual violence.

As we absorb the story of the Menendez sisters, it’s helpful to remind ourselves that each of us probably knows a boy or man in our lives who has been affected by the revealed or hidden reality of sexual violence. Research reveals almost 1 in 6 men 28 million In the United States, they experience sexual violence at some point in their lives (closely aligned with the statistic that 1 in 4 women experience sexual violence).

Please consider what you can do to move our society beyond the cultural blind spots that ignore the needs of male victims of sexual violence. This cultural shift in beliefs is vital in allowing boys and men to stop blaming themselves for what is happening and to reveal secrets they have been keeping for fear of shame and disbelief.

When men are empowered to express their feelings and seek help, they not only begin to heal, but also contribute to a broader cultural shift that benefits everyone. Imagine all the men who could become more authentic and compassionate fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, friends, and community leaders if they could live in a world where they could move beyond their traumatic secrets and find the resources to help.

Warner Ph.D. is a board member of MenHealing and lives in Los Angeles. Struve is the chief executive of MenHealing and lives in Bellingham, Wash. Munson is a board member of MenHealing and lives in Milwaukee. MenHealing is not directly involved in the Menendez lawsuits and appeals.