HR Magazine – Stonewall: How can HR support LGBTQ+ couples in starting a family?

According to research published by the charity Fertility Network UK in March 2024, one in six couples receive fertility treatment while at work. However, this figure does not include people in LGBTQ+ relationships or couples. single parents.

The research showed that more than three-quarters (77%) of LGBTQ+ people aged 18-35 are already parents or considering having children.

According to NHS UK, LGBTQ+ people in the UK can become parents through donor insemination, intrauterine insemination, surrogacy, adoption or foster care, and shared parenting.

When asked about barriers to fertility conversations in the workplace for LGBTQ+ people, Blake said: HR magazine: “There is a combination of stigma, knowledge gaps and misunderstandings about how much (employers) need to know.”

According to Blake, this could raise questions about whether LGBTQ+ people want to have a family or don’t know the range of ways they can approach it and the barriers to doing so.

Read more: Four tips for LGBTQ+ inclusion from the Stonewall London Workplace Conference

Blake pointed out the obstacles that make LGBTQ+ individuals consider surrogacy, such as having to live in another country for a while. “If you work (in a large organization) this may be possible. “If you’re a small business this obviously won’t be possible,” he said.

“Sometimes people don’t value LGBTQ+ relationships with the same status, so they can be the opposite and be aware of what’s going on,” he suggested.

Speaking on a panel at the Fertility Matters At Work live event on November 4, Michael Johnson-Ellis, founder of gay surrogacy support provider Two Dads UK and non-profit organization My Surrogacy Journey, said he committed “career suicide” when he shared his fertility issues at work he said.

Although he was not openly gay at work at the time, he recalled an HR representative asking him: “Why do you want children? You’re gay,” he said after telling his CEO about his difficulties accessing surrogacy care.

Non-birth and non-biological parents in the LGBTQ+ community have seen an increase in discrimination and lack of support, according to family consultancy LGBT Mummies, which contributed to the Fertility Network UK research.

Blake said employers need to make sure their LGBTQ+ employees feel like they can go to them for support.

“We want everyone to know that it’s okay to speak up if they want to know what support is available and that managers and others feel safe to have that conversation,” she said.

Read more: How can HR create a trans inclusion policy?

This starts with inclusive language around family building, Blake noted.

“Even things like fertility language are important. “In the same way that family planning clinics were thought to be only for women and family planners, we need to make sure our language really reflects (the experiences),” she continued.

“We need to be really thoughtful about how we talk about fertility, having children and pathways to parenthood in a workplace; “We’re building on existing language around fertility and amplifying it to be more inclusive because we want everyone to feel seen and included.”

But Blake cautioned that HR shouldn’t feel like they have to be experts on fertility. “We are in a business environment. A department manager or an HR manager cannot be expected to know everything.

“’What do you need?’ Ask the question. “Instead of assuming what (employees) need,” he advised.

While family formation policy may set the framework for these conversations and support, “there is no single policy,” Blake said.

Instead of creating a separate policy, he suggested, HR can build on existing policies to support the employee in need.

“Policies are your framework, but if you are confident in your role as a line manager or HR manager, find out how you work with that policy to be the best you can for the other person.”