The Power of Understanding What You Feel and Why You Feel It

In today’s fast-paced world, emotions are often pushed aside, misunderstood, or ignored altogether. But as psychotherapist and author Israa Nasir explains in her groundbreaking book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More, the real power lies in asking why; This is a question that can illuminate the origins of our emotions and move us to action. on a path towards emotional clarity and empowerment.

“When you ask the question why, your first reaction is to look for an external reason,” Nasir explains. This instinct often leads to placing blame on people, circumstances, or even bad luck. However, as Nasser emphasizes, the fundamental transformation occurs when one digs deeper. “If you can get through this and move on to the next stage of why, you begin to see your own responsibility. And although this can feel extremely uncomfortable at first, it’s one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself because it gives you clarity.”

Emotions are complex; They can control your actions and reactions without understanding their origins. Research on emotional intelligence has long supported this idea. According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, understanding the source of your emotions is a critical step toward emotional regulation, a skill necessary for healthy relationships, decision-making, and personal growth.

Nasir emphasizes that finding the “why” behind emotions allows you to see your role in your experiences. Whether it’s joy or misery, this deeper understanding can shift your perspective from victimhood to perpetration. “Questioning why helps you understand where you can find your power and then affect change,” Nasir explains. Once you gain clarity about your role, you can begin to address both internal and external factors that affect your emotional state.

1. Pause and Think: Next time you feel an intense emotion, pause. Ask yourself why you feel this way. Is that the case, or how do you perceive it?
2. Shift Blame to the Past: Avoid the temptation to immediately blame someone or something else. Sit uncomfortably and look inside.
3. Write it down: Journaling can help you clarify your thoughts and recognize patterns in your emotional reactions.
4. Identify Patterns: Notice triggers that repeat over time and evaluate whether your reactions are aligned with your values ​​and goals.
5. Focus on Change: Once you understand your “why,” use that insight to make changes in your perspective, habits, or interactions with others.

Understanding the “why” behind your emotions may not be easy, but as Nasir explains, it’s worth the effort. “It’s very difficult to do this, but it’s also necessary. It gives you clarity and shows you where your strength lies,” he says. This clarity can help you create boundaries, regulate emotional responses, and ultimately live a stronger life.

If you’re ready to stop being a passive observer of your emotions and take charge of your mental health, Nasir’s Toxic Productivity is a must-read. With her insights and strategies, you can start asking the tough questions and unlock a more conscious, emotionally intelligent life.

Discover more transformative insights in Israa Nasir’s book: Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More.

Subscribe to The Everyday Warrior Nation: