The ‘Your body, my choice’ movement is taking the world by storm. What can parents do to raise healthy, successful boys?

Raising young children is a big job these days, but with the rise of the ‘your size, my choice’ narrative, some of us may be wondering what we can do to raise boys who will become healthy, successful men.

According to the latest analysis, in the 24 hours after Donald Trump’s win, there was a 4,600 percent increase in mentions of the trending phrase on X and a similar increase in calls to “get back in the kitchen.”

Some are Studies link to the way we raise our children Deanne Carson, CEO of Body Safety Australia, explains that it is difficult to prove that raising boys in a positive and healthy way will guarantee they will not become violent, especially when it comes to childhood abuse or neglect.

Zac Seidler, global research director at mental health organization Movember, says research on boys’ outcomes is insufficient because “cultural narratives often tend to consider risks rather than explore what helps (men and boys) thrive.”

But how do we know latest data Almost 40 per cent of young men today feel under pressure to follow certain rules, such as acting strong or struggling to act like a ‘real man’. 34 percent think that society expects them to ‘use violence when necessary to gain respect’.

So what’s the good news?

There are things we can do as parents and adults to raise the little boys in our lives and help them recognize the toxic attitudes they will be exposed to, especially on social media.

“We see children in their joy, their generosity, their kindness. I think if we can be intentional about preserving those qualities in children as they grow, we can really inoculate them against some of the negative messages as they get older,” she said. Carson says.

We spoke with three experts to find out what some of the most powerful things we can do for young men today as parents, caregivers, grandparents, and educators.

Here are four of the big ones.

Understand what typical boy behaviors are and don’t try to fix them all

Ms. Carson says it is developmentally normal for young boys to lash out in frustration, be more physical on the playground, or have poor impulse control.

But if we help them understand that “other people’s bodies belong to them” and that it’s okay if they don’t get what they want, they will be more confident.

“We’re really giving them the skills they’ll need in their relationships when they grow up,” she says.

Dr Seidler says parents have a big role to play in shaping what’s important to young boys, without telling them how they should behave.

He says young boys’ “wild” behavior and the way they interact with their peers often leads to “affection and closeness.” It is vital that we find a way to understand this.

Senior developmental pediatrician and founder of Guiding Growing Minds, Dr. Billy Garvey agrees. He says that instead of aiming for harmony, we should aim to establish healthy relationships.

This includes modeling what healthy intimacy and love is in our relationships with our partner, family, and friends.

“We know that rates of mental illness in adults are terrible, and that multi-generational trauma and cycling is really hard to break, but it can be broken, and that’s the beautiful thing,” she says.

Emotions are healthy; support them (and take care of yourself, too!)

It is easy to become frustrated and angry with our children as they throw tantrums, talk back to us, and display a variety of emotions.

Dr Garvey says finding our own calm is the first step before supporting our children. Otherwise we will “add fuel to the fire”.

“If we can show them that unconditional love and support exists, and that we can face problems together, then they become adults who expect that from their relationships, and they give that to those they are a part of,” she says.

Dr Garvey says boys often don’t talk about their feelings and suppress challenging emotions.

When they express themselves, they are often told that “boys don’t cry” or that they “act like girls.”

Ms. Carson says we all internalize the messages we perpetuate in our parenting, but we can make a big difference by stopping and admitting when we’re wrong.

“It’s really important to get back to the conversation with your child, even if that means apologizing to them and saying, ‘I’m sorry. I said don’t act like a girl. Stop crying.’ But actually that was wrong. I’m going to pass you a message and I can see that you’re upset and I’m here to talk about it.” ” says Ms. Carson.

As Dr Seidler explains, choosing the right moment to talk to your child can make a big difference.

“The time to sit down and have a discussion with your six-year-old is not when he or she is at his busiest, but to find ways to work out with him what he needs in the quieter moments,” she says.

Spend screen time together and share ideas

As Ms. Carson says, we can’t completely avoid everything that pops up in the social media cycle, but the best thing we can do as parents of early childhood and elementary school boys is to make sure they can recognize toxic attitudes on social media. the media they consume.

“It can be very tempting to give them an iPad to let them watch their show, but actually sit down and watch Bluey with them and tell them why the values ​​in Bluey match your family values, or whether you’re watching a movie or a TV show and some of the stuff you’re watching a little bit.” It sounds sexist or racist, actually explain it, don’t be afraid of those harsh conversations,” she explains.

“If you think these issues are teenage issues, they’re not. Please talk to your kids. And I think nine to 12 o’clock is the best time to do that.”

Dr Seidler agrees. Asking lots of questions is a great way to engage them in healthy conversations, she says, but you need to “set aside your own biases and emotions” and aim for “openness, curiosity, and your own discomfort.”

He wants us to ask our children the following questions: “What are you watching? Why are you watching? How does it make you feel? What do you like? Is there anything you don’t like?”

Develop a sense of self-worth

Dr Garvey explains that this is a big deal. The most important thing we can do as parents, he says, is to “celebrate” our children.

“I guess we need to get through the day and do our homework… But that’s not why any of us have kids. Since we have them, we want to give them to someone.” “This is the beautiful life,” he says.

“They have a voice, they can disagree, they can have a say, and that’s from toddlers to teenagers.”

Establishing “really strong self-worth from birth” isn’t about ego, Ms. Carson says.

“I’m not talking about telling little boys how great they are, how strong they are, or how handsome they are; I’m talking about helping them truly understand their value as a human being, so that when they face difficulties, they don’t look for someone to blame as they get older, they don’t try to blame feminism for all the problems they face.”

Dr Seidler says little boys are good guys waiting to thrive and we need to offer them the space, love and warmth to do so.

“Give them the skills to apply all these different things. Don’t put them in a cage. That’s basically the path to success,” he says.