We ask Eric: Widow is tired of almost daily messages from her dead husband’s sister

Dear Eric: My wife of 38 years died a year ago. He was 72 years old, I am 72 years old now. She was a bit of a loner and had a strained relationship with her younger sister, her only sibling.

He had completely cut off communication with her for the last 10 years. To be honest, the real reason was that he didn’t want to be her friend. He was a good and helpful person, but he was who he was and did what he did.

When he died, I reached out to him in a brotherly way and included him in the funeral service. He was very happy. She immediately bonded with me, called me sister, and started texting me several times a week.

This close bond with him is undesirable. I don’t want to receive these messages almost every day. They come with wonderful details and photos of her daily life. I haven’t responded to any messages in the last few months but the tip is being ignored.

I don’t know how to stop this texting relationship without hurting her feelings. I need your advice on how best to end my texting relationship with him and basically keep our relationship at a comfortable distance.

– Personal Space

Dear Space: Establishing a new bond with your sister-in-law is a nice and loving gesture. It may seem like you’re risking reopening old wounds by setting texting limits, but think of it as open communication, which is the lifeblood of every healthy relationship.

Reach out by phone or in person and tell him that you’re happy to have him in each other’s lives and that you appreciate him, but you’re not a texter and would love to find another way to catch up with each other.

She is enthusiastic and perhaps hungry to renew the relationship she didn’t have with your husband. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if it’s not working for you, it’s neither rude nor unfair to redirect.