Woman who accuses Manitoba priest of sexually abusing her in the 1970s says “I need to get out of this situation”

Warning: This story contains sexual assault allegations and discussions of suicide.

Shelley Trubiak says she suffered in silence for 52 years; But two years ago, he decided he could no longer do that after he began remembering abuse at the hands of a priest he said he experienced while growing up in the small western Manitoba community.

Trubiak, now 66, went to the RCMP in 2022, triggering a two-year investigation that led to an arrest warrant being issued in August for Constantin Turcoane, who was 81 at the time.

The retired priest was charged with rape and sexual intercourse with a person under 14 after he alleged that Trubiak sexually assaulted him in the early 1970s, when he was 12 and a parishioner at his church in Lennard, Man.

“I was scared and scared; I’ve been through these things my whole life,” Trubiak, who now lives in Saskatchewan, told CBC News this week. “I need to heal from this and this is the only way I can do that.

“I just want to tell my story.”

None of the allegations against Turcoane have been tested in court. No trial date has been set for his charges.

Turcoane’s lawyer told CBC News his client denies the allegations and will not plead guilty if the case proceeds. He is not commenting further because the case is in court.

The retired priest, who was living in Regina at the time, surrendered to police after being charged in August and was later released.

Turcoane was born in the early 1970s at St. John’s Church in Lennard, a small community near the Saskatchewan border and about 300 kilometers northwest of Winnipeg. Elijah served as a priest in the Romanian Orthodox Church.

Canadian Orthodox History Project website He says Turcoane worked with the congregation in 1970-71.

Trubiak said he remembered Turcoane moving to Lennard in the winter of 1969, but did not remember speaking to him outside of services until the summer of 1970.

He said that while he and his friends were playing hide and seek in the cemetery behind the church, the priest approached him and started talking to him. She claims he grabbed her breast.

“I didn’t even have breasts at the time and he was holding me so tight. He was choking me,” Trubiak said. “I’ll never forget this.”

Trubiak alleges that Turcoane frequently engaged in unwanted touching and other sexual acts at church and at her home, sometimes babysitting her daughter.

“He would always say, ‘Oh, Daddy loves you, so that’s good, that’s okay. Daddy loves you,'” she said.

‘He took my life, my childhood’

Trubiak said the priest told him to stay quiet and continue the alleged sexual abuse between them.

A year later, she said, she overheard her mother talking to another member of the church about complaints that Turcoane was involved in other allegations of abuse. He then decided to tell his mother.

The priest was eventually removed from the church.

Despite this, Trubiak said no one in the community believed him and his family felt isolated.

He said he began to feel like he deserved what was happening to him with so little support. He said he then tried to take his own life.

“Most kids have good memories, good memories. I have terrible memories of my childhood,” Trubiak said. he said. “He took away my life, my childhood.”

He said his life was deteriorating and he began using drugs, alcohol and sex to numb his pain.

Because she had difficulty coping with difficulties during her teenage years, including after having a child at age 16, she ran away from her home multiple times, sometimes for months at a time.

Although the memories of her abuse haunt her, Trubiak says she has learned how to cope with them through counseling.

She moved to Saskatchewan in 2016 to care for her dying mother and began struggling with flashbacks.

“I was in so much pain,” he said. “This is like being poisoned. I have to get it off my chest.”

One option stands out for survivors: expert

Experts say it’s common for abuse survivors to share their stories years, even decades, after the incident.

“When someone is faced with a violation, such as sexual violence, and that violation takes away that person’s choice and consent, it undoes that when they can choose to go their own way,” said Kara Neustaedter, who oversees a program. An organization that helps survivors of sexual abuse at the Community Health Clinic in Winnipeg.

Neustaedter said coming forward is ultimately a choice, not a responsibility, and people have different reasons for sharing their experiences.

RCMP told CBC News they haven’t heard from any other people who claim they were abused by Turcoane since the charges in August, but more witnesses in the Trubiak case have assisted the investigation by giving statements to police.

In the meantime, Trubiak hopes that sharing her story publicly will help other victims of sexual abuse come forward.

“You don’t have to carry these ugly things to your grave,” he said. “Please come forward, not just for me, but for other women as well.”

Support is available to anyone who has been sexually assaulted through crisis lines and local support services. Government of Canada website or Canadian Association to End Violence database. If you are in immediate danger or fear for the safety of yourself or those around you, please call 911.