5 Subtle Signs That He's Not That Person Even If Your Heart Says He Is The One

Let’s say you’ve been in a relationship and no doubt at some point you’ve found yourself confused about whether you should continue the relationship or end it and move on. And if you’re like most people, this can be a really tough decision.

Caught up in your emotional whirlwind, with your heart saying “I love him” or “I love him”, you say, “But you’re unhappy!” You are stuck between something else that says. It is almost impossible to find the truth. Instead, we flounder in indecision, struggle to maintain relationships, become confused, and remain handicapped in making the best decision for ourselves.

The truth is, people don’t fall out of love; They lose out on intimacy, trust, and respect, which are the foundations of a great relationship—three things that are really hard to bring back once they’re gone. Next time you find yourself at the crossroads of evaluating whether this person is really for you, check out these 5 signs that they probably aren’t.

Here are five subtle signs that it’s not the one, even if your heart says it is.

1. Your intuition tries to get your attention

If you’re getting signs or feelings that this isn’t the right relationship for you, it probably isn’t. The worst action you can take is to brush aside the signs and not give them the trust they warrant.

The symptoms may be different from the voices in your head (no, you are not schizophrenic, this is your intuition speaks!), to the emotions inside you like anxiety and fear, or just your sixth sense (you shouldn’t be nervous on your wedding day, excited yes, anxious no), to visual cues like dreams and visions. Intuition is your best friend and never lies. Many people could have saved themselves a lot of pain if they had listened to what their intuition was telling them from the beginning.

2. You believed in the Blip Effect

Subtle Signs That He's Not The One Timur Weber / Pexels

you get excited the slightest change Believing that big change is just around the corner in your man or girl. While you wait… and wait… and wait for the big change to come, you use this interruption to carry you through the next months.

At best, they stay where the little coup takes them. At worst, they revert back to their old selves. They usually land somewhere in between, but you always have to dig into your reserves of hope that this person will one day be the partner you want.

He’s hardly like that at all. You’re on a roller coaster—aka the Blip Effect—using the high to sustain yourself, forgetting how bad you feel the rest of the time. This is not a journey you want to take.

3. You talk more about him and your relationship than about your own life and dreams

People with great relationships don’t spend a lot of time talking about them with others. They talk about their lives and their partners, yes, but there’s nothing really to say about the relationship because it works.

People in unhappy or mediocre relationships complain, analyze, and always seek information from others about their relationships and partners. They spend more time talking about their partner — what they do, what they don’t do — than they do sharing themselves and their own lives.

4. Your Happiness Meter says so

One of the most meaningful questions you can ask yourself is “Am I happy?” It’s really easy to answer yes or no, and it’s hard to lie. 2011 research It tells us that happiness is, to some extent, a choice we can make.

If your answer is No, or something like “Well, sometimes, but then other times, blah blah blah…” something is at work with your choice of partner. If you are not happyYou owe it to yourself to take three actions:

Determine what you want from your life
Determine what you want from a partner.
First tell your partner what you want for your life, then what you want from your partner, and then “Can and will you be that partner?” ask.

They will tell you the truth. It’s your job to listen.

5. Your fights aren’t fair

Subtle Signs That He's Not The One RDNE Stock project / Pexels

Yes, all couples fight, but if Your fights are dramatic and hurtfulNo matter how much your heart says you love ‘him’ or ‘him’, your heart has to love you more. Fighting can be healthy in a relationship, Research in 2013 confirmsbut not if it is persistent or hurtful. Unfortunately, we can still love someone and be in an abusive or toxic relationship; It is considered verbal, emotional and mental abuse.

You must respect yourself enough to demand respect from your partner. And if you don’t get that respect or you don’t reciprocate that respect, something unhealthy is going on. You have two options: fix the problem with therapy and counseling – together and separately – or end the relationship.

The reason so many of us maintain relationships even though they don’t make our lives better or help us create the lives we really want is not because we’re afraid of facing the truth, but because we’re afraid of facing the truth. the consequences of truth – being alone, admitting we’ve made mistakes, hearing what other people will say or think – so we use love as a reason to stay.

Do yourself a favor and start with the love you have for me; Listen to what you are telling yourself, what you need, and then decide if this relationship and this person is ‘right’ for you.

Christine Arylo is a transformational teacher, internationally renowned speaker, and bestselling author of Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend, the official self-love guidebook.