The Power of Self-Contradiction | Psychology Today

As Walt Whitman wrote in Songs of Myself:

Am I contradicting myself? /
Well then I contradict myself, /
(I am great, I contain multitudes.)

Maybe we contradict ourselves by nature. But we are also taught to be consistent as a matter of moral integrity. From a psychological perspective, a coherent sense of self, or the coherence of the self, is associated with better functioning on average. In the most extreme case, fragmentation may be pathological; for example, if we are so fragmented and internally disconnected (“dissociated”) that it causes serious problems in life. But relational psychoanalysis And trauma theory suggests that we experience different “states of self” (e.g., the work of Philip Bromberg).

In Consistent Narratives

Narrative coherence—how well a story holds together—is an example of how psychologists evaluate our autobiographical sense of self. For example, psychologist Peter Ornstein and colleagues (2011) identified three dimensions of autobiographical narrative coherence: chronology, context, and theme.

We often forget about time and change. We tend to consider static snapshots of any situation because considering multilayered processes over time requires too much work, and the “lazy brain” tries to minimize cognitive load.

Life’s memories are magnified in our digital environment, which rewards scrolling through small pieces of information and images. memes They are as effective as they are misleading. Because they can be so attractive, they make us believe that a simple point of view is true. They are out of chronology, have little context, and highlight themes that grab us before we have time to think.

Culture Preserves Points

Culture tends to tell us that being singular is the norm, especially in individualistic societies that elevate individualism as a moral good almost to the level of worship, as opposed to communal societies. Rugged individualism, as a Western ideal, requires the individual to be ruggedly independent, enterprising, and radically self-sufficient in achieving unheralded success. Being self-contradictory offends our sensitivities and creates confusion.

However, erring on the side of complexity in the context of a comprehensive sense of authentic self helps resolve a number of problematic issues. A more accurate and sensitive model. Conversely, if we assume singularity, we put on blinders that prevent us from being open-minded and limit our capacity to perceive the alternatives that might be out there.

Flowing Balance

The degree of singularity versus multiplicity varies from person to person, but it is generally a personality character. Some people are naturally fluent in how they can present themselves. With more likely internal states, they may gravitate towards professions such as acting, where taking on different personalities in an original way is highly valued (unless one is cast in a particular role).

Others tend to be more consistent, the same, regardless of their situation. They are more likely to subjectively experience themselves as the same, rather than having different “sides” of their personalities emerge.

Healthy Variability

Moderate variability is healthy. Too much hardness is not good. Too much chaos doesn’t help either. If we strike a balance between consistency and variability, we reap the benefits in terms of vitality. creativityand expressive power. We are more compatible. Being like this can also encourage more openness to experience— an important personality trait associated with giftedness.

Benefits of Embracing Crowds

1. Reframing self-contradiction. Every unique perspective has emotional validity; even if we don’t agree with it or determine that it fits the way we understand and see the world. This can be difficult to put together into a coherent framework, but it doesn’t have to fit right in right away.

2. It’s not so simple. A more accurate understanding of oneself and others actually yields better results, which should come as no surprise. As long as we are multifaceted individuals, assuming the self is simple will inevitably create distortions.

3. It’s not too complicated. At the same time, although it may seem self-contradictory, it is very important to develop a working model without going into too much detail. In terms of efficiency and time, it is better to have a functional “good enough” model and constantly update it.

4. Better understanding unconscious processes. The Object Relations school of psychoanalysis suggests that we internalize our family relationships or sets of relationships. The structure of personality depends not only on internalized significant individuals but also on how we internalize the relationships between them. We want to see both the good and the bad in ourselves and others. If ego strength is low, we may become “split”, seeing ourselves as all good (or bad) and others as all bad (or good).

5. Relationships work better. teamwork It comes from understanding group processes and basic relationships among teammates. Similarly, to best understand ourselves, we must use some of this team thinking to see not only how we work in relation to others, but also how our internal teamwork functions.

6. Works immediately to reframe conflict. When the situation becomes polarized, it is often difficult to resolve or even contemplate the conflict. Parties take opposing positions and mobilize each other. It helps relax dualistic thinking.

7. Better strategic thinking. By seeing the parts and the whole, regulating emotions, and cognition Because it is good enough to contain crowds without succumbing to overcomplicating things (over-complicating), we see the playing field like a coach and can see different positions on the field from different players’ perspectives and how they progress.

epilogue

Some people behave more consistently from one environment to another, while others can adapt more precisely to different situations; But it may also be the case that there is a normal range within which people can transform without becoming inauthentic or losing a general sense of who they are.

We’re playing a role, and that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re faking it. On the contrary, it can be a harbinger of growth and development while exploring unfamiliar terrain. By freeing ourselves from momentary anger at perceived hypocrisy, we can evaluate the situation with less emotional distortion to achieve better outcomes. The basic mind shift is to assume that multiplicity, that is, having different self-states or aspects of one’s personality—or plurality, that is, having different identities that can vary depending on one’s state of mind or context—is the default setting.