10 Lies I Believe About Men and Relationships That Kept Me Single For Too Long

When I was only twenty-four years old, I attended my first major personal development seminar on relationships. More than four hundred women participated in the demonstration, and the leader of the demonstration was a fifty-year-old man. A lot of the assumptions I made about men and relationships were simply not true.

I have witnessed the truth of these ideas as I have dated many men of all ages, shapes, and colors over the past twenty years. Sometimes I resisted these truths, ignored them, and of course believed that I could change them if I met the right man. I want to share with you the lies I believe.

Here are ten lies I believe about men and relationships that kept me single for too long.

Lie 1: If a man loved me, he would make me a priority in his life

Real: A woman’s biggest priority in life is her relationships. A man’s top priority is to protect his ego. Instead of wanting to be first her whole life, if you’re just first in her relationship category, he cares about you.

Lie 2: Men like to talk about relationships

Lies I Believe About Men and Relationships Cottonbro studio / Pexels

Real: Most men were not socially conditioned to discuss their feelings. What is easy for you is not so easy for them.

Don’t take it personally. Even a man raised by a single mother very sensitive You will never be as comfortable as you are in these discussions.

Lie 3: If a guy breaks up with me, I must be flawed and fix myself to be perfect enough to be attractive to men.

Real: There are so many Reasons why men/women break up. Most of the time it’s more about their baggage and fears than anything about you.

People fit together like puzzle pieces according to their subconscious programs. If you’re not compatible, it’s neither good nor bad, it’s just not the right fit. There is nothing to fix about you except your misperceptions about yourself.

Lie 4: My personal development work is complete when I find a man who will love me

Real: Your growth is never complete. Life is about growth and expansion; Your work is never done until you die.

Lie 5: I should believe a guy when he tells me how much he likes me even if he doesn’t show it

Real: Research from Coastal Carolina University states that men communicate through action. Pay more attention to what he does or doesn’t do rather than what he says.

6. Lie: If I get those butterflies when I think of him, it must be love

REAL: Butterflies are fear/excitement transformed into a single emotion. This can occur when your partner is unavailable, creating the danger and excitement of uncertainty.

This feeling also occurs when you meet someone who makes a real connection. You cannot use butterflies as a measurement. find “the one” When we fall in love, our body reacts with a mixture of chemicals that creates a giddy feeling in our stomach. Research from Harvard allegations.

Lie 7: If I love him, I should put up with his bad behavior because he is my soul mate

Lies I Believe About Men and Relationships RDNE Stock project / Pexels

Real: This is codependency at its best. You don’t love him; You like the idea of it.

If he treats you badly, it’s fantasy love. Just because you think you love someone doesn’t mean they are the right person for you.

Lie 8: Men don’t want to commit, so I need to please him physically so he’ll stay with me.

Real: If intimacy was the only thing that got a man hooked, prostitutes would all be married by now.

Lie 9: Men love to hear gossip

Real: Your friend doesn’t care about your friend’s problem with your other friend who said something she perceived as an insult. He also doesn’t want the details of the conversation and how you feel about it. He might be interested in whether the Yankees won today.

10. Lie: The only way to catch a guy is to play games and pretend I don’t want to lie

Real: you can Try to catch him and keep him playing It will work for a while. The problem is that you have to keep up the game throughout your entire relationship, and it can be exhausting. When would he know the real you?

The biggest lie I told myself was that my life would have no meaning if I didn’t get married and have children. I hear this lie told to me every day by my readers, clients, and clients.

I feel their pain. I lived this lie for almost twenty years. Now that I’m in a committed relationship (I’m still not married or have kids), I look back at my single life and realize all the happiness and fun I’ve been missing out on because I was so focused on finding “the one.”

I was putting my fun aside until my knight in shining armor arrived. My life had meaning when I was single, and I am still the same “me” as part of a couple.

Examine the lies you tell yourself about love and life. Most importantly, the lies you make up about yourself and your limitations because you are single.

Stop telling yourself lies that it will never happen and that you will be alone forever. Ignore the cranky voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough or need to be fixed. You are perfect right now. Love will be for you and that’s the truth.

Debi Maldonado He is the CEO of personal development company CreativeMind. He has been featured in ABC News, FOX News, NBC News, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, Publisher’s Weekly and many other publications.