6 Things That Must Exist at the Same Time for a Relationship to Work

Relationships are what give meaning to our lives. Have you ever thought about what your life would be like without loved ones and without a single meaningful relationship? Lonely and scary, right?

Maintaining a relationship can sometimes be a difficult task as you are bound to have bad days. But it is necessary to accept the good with the bad. Every relationship is intended to teach us valuable lessons about ourselves. Not all lessons are fun and easy. But they are all important. Here are some basic principles that must simultaneously exist for a relationship to work.

6 things that must exist at the same time for a relationship to work:

1. The ability to practice self-love

happy person Juan Mendez / Pexels

I’m sorry to disappoint you but if you don’t love yourselfYour partner cannot help you with this. On the contrary, it will reflect your lack of self-love and self-confidence.

Many people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. They feel lonely and want someone to appreciate them because they don’t appreciate themselves.

But as long as you want your partner to make you feel good, you’ll push them away and move further away from loving yourself. The person in front of you is never the source of your happiness and love.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you have to find it within yourself. This can be a harsh lesson, but it also gives you inner freedom.

If you want a relationship to work, focus on being a source of love for yourself first. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect someone else to love you completely. It doesn’t work that way. You only attract people who reflect where you stand energetically.

2. The ability not to lose yourself in a partner

The couple is not losing each other Vera Arsic / Pexels

We are so happy when we find a partner that it is easy to forget what we want and need. We can compromise who we are spend more time with them. Compromising in a relationship shouldn’t involve your core values. According to research by the Gottman Institute.

As the relationship lasts, we get used to doing things together. Logical. Everyone was there.

But this is very dangerous for any relationship. When we give up hobbies, goals, and friends so we can spend more time together, we make the relationship codependent. And this will never work or last.

It’s vital to continue working on your dreams and taking “me time.” My time is your time to do what you love. You recharge your batteries while doing what you love, then you feel happier and share this happiness with your partner.

That’s why it’s so important for both of you. This is especially true for women. I have a saying: An unhappy woman means an unhappy relationship and family.

So, it doesn’t do anyone any good when you’re always available and forget about the things that make your heart sing. Remember that a great relationship starts with you.

3. The ability to take responsibility for your own mess.

man takes ownership of his own mess Chinmay Singh / Pexels

Everyone has different experiences and beliefs. We carrying our baggage of unresolved problems wherever we go.

But somehow most of us, in some strange way, expect that when we start a relationship we can hand off our baggage to the other person and they will help us carry it. That’s why we blame the other person when things don’t go the way we want or when we don’t feel good.

But the other person is not the source of your problems. Yes, they trigger them, and sometimes in a very good way, but they only reflect unhealed wounds back to you so you can release them. We all have loved ones from our family, school, society, ex-partners, etc. We were treated negatively.

However, pain does not go away on its own because it is an energy stuck in your system that you must consciously let go of. Otherwise, it stays there and continues to attract similar painful moments until you choose to heal it.

4. The ability to be an open book

double open book Marcus Aurelius / Pexels

Although there are ways to remain mysterious and maintain attraction, forget this advice if you do not want to build a lasting relationship based on trust. Another killer of relationships is assumptions. When you don’t fully communicate what you want, what you’re thinking, and what you need, your partner will assume that’s what it is. This leads to misunderstandings.

The same is true and vice versa. If they’re not telling you exactly how things are, then your mind will naturally drift to some negative scenario. good communication is of vital importance. Always say exactly what you want and feel, even if you don’t know it.

When you feel bad for no apparent reason and your partner asks how you are, instead of saying “nothing”; “I feel bad but I’m not sure why. This feeling started a few days ago but it has nothing to do with us. Please give me some time to understand this.” This is more accurate than saying “nothing” even if you’re not sure what’s going on.

5. The ability to ‘not own’ a person

the couple does not strive for each other Taylor Thompson / Pexels

Even if you’ve been together for 30 years, your partner doesn’t belong to you. Nobody belongs to us.

The truth is that we were born alone and we will leave this world alone. Therefore, the only person you will always be with is you.

Your partner too He has hobbies and dreams. And like you, they should follow their hearts and do what they love. Any (secret or covert) control is like poison for both of you.

We all have free will, which means not everyone can always act as they wish. If they exceed your standards, you should consider whether you’re willing to move on, but don’t try to lock them up before that happens. Because otherwise they will run away.

6. Ability to support your partner

supportive couple Emma Bauso / Pexels

Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. When they are happy, your relationship will be more comfortable and mutually supportive. I don’t know of anything worse than a person who buries his dreams and then at some point looks back and becomes depressed because he couldn’t get what he wanted.

If you love your partner, you want them to do whatever makes them happy. create a supportive environment. The bonus part is that when they work on their dreams, it’s time for you to do what you love. Being in a supportive relationship can reduce depression Research in 2022 confirms this.

A meaningful relationship will always enrich your life. But things won’t always be rosy. Some days will be worse than others and some days will give you the memories of a lifetime.

As long as you understand your relationship and your partner, everything will gradually fall into place. You will find that everything is simple from the beginning. Therein lies the essence of a meaningful relationship.

Sylvia Salow is an author, soul healer, writer and speaker.