Family Lawyer Explains Why 50/50 Relationships Are a Scam

Many people say they want some things in their relationships to be split 50/50. This way both partners have equal responsibilities, right?

A family lawyer argued that it would not be possible for a man and a woman to have a perfectly egalitarian relationship because a 50/50 split would never work out the way you imagine.

A family lawyer said fair dealings were not possible and it was a ‘scam’.

Tanya Musgrove is a family lawyer, mediator, divorce coach and content creator. He offered viewers his perspective on 50/50 relationships and why they don’t actually exist.

“I want to talk about What makes a relationship equal? or a fair relationship when it comes to how we divide up all the different responsibilities,” he began.

Musgrove then showed a piece of paper with four circles on it. “I drew a little diagram showing all the different areas that people need to divide in a relationship,” he said. “I will call these areas of responsibility.”

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To illustrate his argument, the lawyer used four domains to represent domains of domestic labor in marriage.

Musgrove labeled the four areas as money, housework, emotional and mental work, and children.

“Usually when guys talk about 50/50, that’s all they’re talking about,” he explained, pointing to the money sphere. But Musgrove disagreed, saying much more is needed financially to make a relationship equal.

“In some cases, they will include housework,” he continued. “But in reality, it’s usually the woman who does more… This is usually because women’s standards are higher.”

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Musgrove used this to show how many relationships are actually unequal. “So if the couple shares the finances equally and the woman does more of the housework, then you already have an unequal division of labor,” he explained.

Musgrove then moved on to two other areas of responsibility.

“This job now almost always falls solely to women because they, for whatever reason, seem to take on the role of running the household,” she said. mental and emotional workplace.

He continued: “Moreover, many wives take on the role of managing their husbands’ schedules.” This increases the mental and emotional burden they take on.

“And then when we get to the kids, it’s impossible for that to be shared equally,” Musgrove said. “This is very important because Pregnancy is hard on the body. This is a huge burden. It literally changes your body forever. It changes your brain and puts your life at risk; so as a woman, this is a huge burden that you take on in your relationship alone.

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The family lawyer therefore concluded that a fair relationship was impossible, and the experts agreed.

Musgrove reviewed areas of responsibility and showed that women almost automatically take on more responsibility than men in a relationship.

“Even in relationships where the man provides 100% financially, the expectation is often that the woman does 100% of the housework, 100% of the emotional and mental work, and 100% of the childcare,” she said. This is clearly not a 50/50 split; Much closer to 25/75.

Relationship coaches and authors Linda and Charlie Bloom Wrote why 50/50 relationships don’t work Today for Psychology. “Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition,” they said. “Running a relationship as a business deal will get you in big trouble.”

Moreover, the Blooms argued that agreements such as who will handle finances are normal in a relationship. But everything becomes “transactional” when split 50/50.

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Phyllis Koch-Sheras and Peter Sheras have been working as couples therapists for over 40 years. They agree that 50/50 relationships don’t work and advise couples to strive for 100/100 instead.

“A great couple is one where everyone is devoted to the whole, not just their half,” the couple explained. “So it’s not 50/50; it’s 100/100. This means that at any given moment, each of you is committed to the entire relationship.”

If you think your current relationship is 50/50, re-examine your areas of responsibility. Do you manage three spheres alone?

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango covering entertainment, news and human interest.