Cher, Sonny Bono and the power imbalance in young-adult relationships

“Cher: The Memoir, Part One” here – and it proves it pop icon more than just being “strong enough” to talk about his past. Even when that past involved talking about some uncomfortable topics, including the age gap between herself and her late ex-husband Sonny Bono.

Salvatore Bono entered Cher’s life as a protector and champion and talked her into talking to her boss, Phil Spector; This led to Cher taking on the role of backing vocalist on Spector-produced ’60s hits. The Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” and The Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” The couple had a 11 years differenceAnd he was just young. It was reported that his mother wanted bond in prison. Still, Cher “liked that she was different from everyone else. She made me laugh. And we had a dream,” she said. CBS Sunday Morning.

“I lied to him a few times,” he added. “I told him I was 18, and then someone said, ‘You know, I don’t think he’s 18.’ And I said, ‘Okay, I’m not 18, but it’s my birthday next month’ – which was true – ‘and I’ll be 18.'” The relationship fell apart after that, with Bono becoming more moody and unfaithful. partly due to addiction to valium and prescription painkillers.

The memory comes as something previously unknown”muse“famous novelist Cormac McCarthy recently showed up Vanity Fair profile. The article, complete with excerpts from love letters and first-hand accounts from a woman named Augusta Britt, claims that the two met when she was 16 and the late author was 42.

Awareness is increasing about sexual grooming and exploitation This follows many unhealthy power dynamics. Legal and psychology experts agree that it is important to discuss, rather than ignore, the potential pitfalls that come with maturity differences.

“Social norms have changed and are changing, and people are starting to realize things that we were okay with 30, 40, 50 years ago. But now we’re reevaluating that.” Elizabeth Jeglic, A psychology professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice previously told USA TODAY.

“We now understand that teenagers don’t actually think the same way as adults or look at things the same way as adults until their early to mid-20s. When someone is an older adult in a relationship with a teenager, there’s a huge power imbalance and the ability to consent is compromised.”

Not all yeses are the same: How can a teenager’s consent be violated?

In general – as we now know – gray areas cloud relationships when it comes to teens and consent.

Young people’s ability to make rational, educated decisions is clouded by a number of factors: their lack of life experience, their vulnerability to peer pressure, and their underdeveloped brain maturity. Decades of neuroscience evidence It also supports that their brains are wired to prioritize short-term rewards over long-term consequences, and as a result, they are more likely to engage in risky behavior.

Additionally, many young people often confuse confidence with competence. While they may feel empowered to pursue a relationship with an adult, the reality is that their actual skill level when it comes to things like reading the risk dimension or knowing if they are truly ready to enter that relationship on a deeper or sexual level…has not yet been developed.” Melanie Schilling, A self-confidence coach and former psychologist who specializes in relationships previously told USA TODAY.

“They might say yes, but the meaning behind that is not fully developed… and the psychological capacity to step into this relationship with true consent is not there yet,” says Schilling.

‘We tell kids to just say no. But let’s start telling adults to just say no.’

Although maturity levels vary from person to person, teens are rarely emotionally or cognitively equipped to evaluate the risks and dangers of sexual intercourse with older adults, experts say.

“Adults tend to think that a teenager is mature when they look mature. So if they have developed breasts, hips, facial hair, or other secondary sex characteristics that indicate maturity…that means they are mature.” Jennifer Drobac, A retired professor at Indiana University McKinney School of Law who specializes in sexual harassment law previously told USA TODAY:

However, research shows that the brain does not fully develop until the 20s; more specifically, Many studies have found It shows that the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive decision-making and risk assessment, is fully mature by age 25. Post-MeToo eraConsent is a spoken-out part of sexual interactions.

Drobac says the burden of condemning these inappropriate relationships should be on adults rather than young people.

“We tell kids to just say no, let’s start telling adults to just say no.”

Credits: Melissa Ruggieri, Jenna Ryu and Anna Kaufman

Not all yeses are the same: How can a teenager’s consent be violated?

‘We tell kids to just say no. But let’s start telling adults to just say no.’

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