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What is toxic gratitude and why we should stay away from it this Thanksgiving |

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What is toxic gratitude and why we should stay away from it this Thanksgiving |

What is toxic gratitude and why should we stay away from it this Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and this is the season when family and friends gather, count blessings, and express gratitude. Although gratitude is often seen as the cornerstone of happiness and mental health, it should not become a means of avoiding real feelings.

What is toxic gratitude?

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Toxic gratitude, also known as forced or insincere gratitude, is when we minimize other emotions by asking people to be grateful. Gratitude should never be a means of avoiding true feelings, dismissing personal struggles, or invalidating the pain of others. While gratitude is a positive and healthy emotion, toxic gratitude has the potential to harm individuals and sabotage relationships. According to the psychologist, toxic gratitude makes people feel like it’s okay to not be okay.
Elizabeth Pearson, career coach and author of ‘Career Constraint: How to Free Yourself, Find Your Guides, and Capture the Fire of Inspiring Work,’ told CNBC: Think about toxic gratitude when you practice self-indulgence. Pearson also points out some signs of toxic gratitude.

  • You are now receiving signs that something is not right, but you still ignore your desires.
  • It overrides your feelings of gratitude you express.
  • Using gratitude as an excuse to stay in a situation that isn’t right for you.

What does toxic gratitude look like?

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  • Saying ‘At least you have a job’ to someone who is overwhelmed by work stress.
  • Ask yourself or others to focus only on what they have to ‘be grateful for’ and suppress any sadness, anger or disappointment.
  • Using phrases like ‘it could have been worse’ makes people feel guilty about their feelings or experiences.

Why you should avoid toxic gratitude

  • Toxic gratitude suppresses real emotions.
  • It creates guilt.
  • Toxic positivity can alienate loved ones who need support rather than superficial reassurances.

How to overcome toxic gratitude?

  • While practicing gratitude is important, acknowledging true emotions also plays a crucial role in your mental health.
  • You shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling sad or angry. It’s okay to not be okay.
  • It is important to be honest with yourself and listen to your inner voice.
  • Focus on meaningful moments of gratitude rather than forcing an overall feeling of positivity.
  • Saying something as simple as “I see how hard this is for you” can validate your loved one’s struggles without undermining your gratitude.

(Image courtesy: Pexels)

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