Sex During Perimenopause: Why Is It Better?

There are rumors that perimenopause is the second puberty. So is the transition out of fertility really as challenging as the transition?

If you’re like many people who menstruate, the idea can seem scary. Research has linked female puberty to anxiety, stress, and depression. It’s easy to assume that perimenopause means not only similar emotional turmoil but also the end of your sex life.

One to work It showed that 69% of women got most of their pre-menopausal information online. While the challenges approaching your last menstrual period are real and worth supporting, the messages around perimenopause and sex seem deceptively negative. Low libido. Vaginal dryness. A sex life that shrivels and dies.

It has been stated that menopause has become so medicalized that it is feared and avoided in sexual health conversations. Shannon Chaveza licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. As a result, she said, there has been little focus on “how to embrace this sexual stage of life feeling strong and ready.” “It is often seen as the end of fertility and therefore the end of sexual intercourse.” Chavez said women are discouraged from exploring ways to adapt to sexual changes and therefore often believe that their desirability, vitality and sexuality decline with age.

Given that gender-related beliefs can be influential, these ideas can be self-fulfilling. affects sexual function. If you think great sex is impossible as your fertility declines, why bother trying to enjoy it? Such beliefs can stand in the way of potential positives, including the best sex you’ve ever had (yes, really!).

Consider the following ways to engage in sex and intimacy: to develop According to experts, during and after perimenopause.

many people report Decreased libido occurs during perimenopause, but many people experience the opposite due to hormonal fluctuations. Gynecologist and menopause specialist Dr. Heather Bartos he sees this in his own practice and points to other common causes at this stage of life, such as decreased parenting responsibilities and increased personal development.

“Now in perimenopause, you can finally feel like you’ve reached your full life potential, and that’s a sexy feeling,” she said. Given that the brain is the most powerful sex organ, greater ability to relax in your 40s or 50s may increase sexual desire, he added. This may be one reason why older women report have more satisfying sex than younger women.

If you used to get aroused instantly and now you find that it requires more effort, you are experiencing sensitive desire rather than spontaneous desire. It’s easy to confuse this common change during perimenopause with low libido, but responsive desire is not. NO libido. It’s just a different style.

More responsive desire can help you focus on the types of stimulation and connection you want, leading to more mindful and embodied sexual experiences because you value quality over quantity, Chavez said. For example, you can prioritize certain types of touch or explore erotica or role-play for slower, fuller body stimulation. Research He linked mindfulness to increased mind and body arousal in women.

Responsive desire also encourages partners to examine what feels good during sex, reducing performance anxiety, Chavez said. “Sex becomes more meaningful and pleasurable without the goals and performance measures of what is expected,” she added. So sex may be about the exploration of consciousness rather than rapid movements towards orgasm.

Discovering what fuels your sexual fire during perimenopause invites innovation. And trying new things can be great for your sex life. One to work showed that couples who tried new activities together, especially those that involved touch, produced more oxytocin, a hormone that promotes attraction and intimacy. Innovation is also linked keeping the sexual sparks alive in the long run.

In her book “When Sex Don’t Like You: The Truth About Maladaptive Libido and Rediscovering Desire.” Cyndi Darnell Sex and relationships therapist, coach and menopause expert says novelty is crucial for good sex.

“But innovation doesn’t mean different positions and new vibrators, although that could be part of it,” she told HuffPost. “It’s more about reinventing yourself,” he said.

Darnell sees menopause as the best time to ask yourself questions like: “If I want to have sex in this newly emerging body, what will feel good?” What might I be willing to explore? Am I willing to take risks to meet myself there?

Whether your sexual desire has become more sensitive or you have higher standards, you may not want to settle for anything with increased confidence and experience. However Satisfying sex during perimenopause.

“We no longer put up with the nonsense we put up with in our youth,” Bartos said. He found that “perimenopausal women want their sexual experiences to be foreplayed, honored, and cherished.”

Talking easily can also support perimenopausal sex. “Once we enter this stage, we often become more comfortable discussing what we want and need sexually, which leads to a deeper connection in intimacy and a greater focus on mutual pleasure,” said Chavez, who has seen these benefits emerge among clients. “Sex is often more enjoyable because they’re talking to their partner, talking to a therapist about their concerns, and not feeling alone.”

Bartos enjoyed this advantage. “I found that perenopause was a good thing for sex because I finally felt like I had my voice,” she said. “I finally felt like I could say what I wanted and desired without shame or hesitation—and even that improved sexual experiences.”

Satisfying romps during perimenopause may require some troubleshooting. And this can improve sex beyond the specific issues you’re addressing.

“Meeting these challenges can create opportunities for deeper connection through communication, exploration, and creativity, which can change the landscape and dynamics of sexual relationships,” Chavez said.

You can experience more fun and pleasure while doing this. Maria S., a 48-year-old mother and educator living in the Midwest, credits the difficulties she faced during perimenopause with becoming more orgasmic. “I was able to relax consistently well into my 30s,” he told HuffPost. “I tried my first sex toy a few months ago because I wasn’t orgasming as often as I used to, and now I sometimes have two orgasms.” The toy, a rabbit-style vibrator, helped her explore a part of her body that “always does it” whether she uses it or not.

Whatever your perimenopausal experience, you don’t have to wait for a sex crisis to get support. Helpful options include menopause coaching; sex therapy; medical treatment such as hormone replacement therapy; or anything to help you manage stress – which is research It shows that it negatively affects women’s sexual satisfaction more than menopause.

Darnell believes everyone needs support and perimenopause is no exception.

“Change is scary; “Change is exciting,” he said. “And the social narrative that menopause is the autumn of our lives and that we lose our strength is nonsense. Menopause is when you find that power (if you haven’t found it before) or it takes a new form.”