Finding love on deadline

As the year approaches its inevitable end, a strange event emerges. Singles everywhere are engaged in an extraordinary race; Not to meet work deadlines, not to beat fitness goals, but to do something much more daring: find love. Remember, not just any love, but the kind that can serve two immediate purposes: tick off that pesky “find a partner” resolution on the 2024 list and provide a respectable companion to dazzle their family this Christmas.

If you think the Black Friday stampede is intense, try observing the emotional chaos of someone trying to lock down their soulmate before December 25th.

December has always carried a scent of romance with its twinkling lights and relaxed atmosphere. But for singles, this season also brings fear. Just a lot of “Why are you still single?” Interrogations that can be endured at family gatherings before even considering showing up with a photo of your would-be partner saved as your phone wallpaper just to avoid the questions.

But not this year. This year singles chanted “Not today, Aunt Gladys!” he says. Armed with dating apps, gym memberships, and blind date setups, they enter the battlefield of romance with the strength of a caffeinated marathoner.

Of course, “love before the holidays” has a checklist. Do they have a good smile? Control. Can they have a conversation without quoting TikTok every three minutes? Control. With some strategic coaching, can they convincingly play the role of a loving partner at a family dinner? Check, check and check again. Whether they are in love or just desperate is anyone’s guess.

One of the most popular justifications for this seasonal speed dating is the idea of ​​starting the new year “right.” For some, it’s less about the magic of love and more about having someone to kiss under New Year’s fireworks, without awkwardly holding a glass of champagne to avoid getting into the third wheel.

Social media didn’t help either. People scroll through couple photos captioned “first Christmas together” or “matching ugly sweaters” and think I deserve love, or at least matching pajamas.

But this is where the plan gets risky. Rushed relationships are like undercooked turkey: They may look good on the outside, but when you dig deeper, regret is likely.

A whirlwind romance may seem like a festive miracle at first, but what happens when the Christmas lights go out and reality sets in like overbaked fruitcake? There are dangers in hasty love that no Christmas spirit can solve.

In the sprint to handcuff someone, people often overlook glaring red flags. Uncovering compatibility takes time, and skipping steps can lead to unpleasant surprises.

Introducing someone new to your family during the holidays is like throwing a novice swimmer into shark-infested waters. The potential for disaster is astronomical. Will they laugh too much at Dad’s bad jokes? Will mom whisper, “That looks so crafty”? And let’s not even get started on Uncle Wanjiku’s intrusive questions.

Holiday sparkle makes everything look better, but January is the biggest excitement. When you’re stuck watching reruns of “The Office” together on a dreary Tuesday, that sparkling connection might not seem so magical. Relationships built on the ticking of time often come to a halt when the rush is over.

Rushing into something for the sake of checking a box can mean ignoring your own emotional needs. And if things go south, you’re back to square one, but with no more heartache and fewer January resolutions to keep track of.

If you’ve tried by mid-December and still haven’t found one, don’t despair. Learn to deflect family questions like a pro. “Why am I still alone? “Oh, I’m waiting for Elon Musk’s Mars colony to open up dating opportunities.”

And remember: The best relationships are marathons, not sprints. Love will come when you’re ready, and it’ll probably come when you’re wearing the outfit you’re least proud of, because that’s just the way the universe works.

For those still determined to find “the one” before Santa Claus comes to town, be careful. Yes, it’s a jungle out there, but love can’t be heated in a microwave. It is a slow cooker stew and tastes best when you let it simmer.

So, while others are rushing through dating checklists, consider sitting it out, sipping on eggnog, and mastering the art of self-love instead. Or at least find someone who also hates pineapple on pizza.