Can you be friends with your children and still guide them?

Hi Chris,

My kids are still little and I’m loving every minute of it. But my mom says I need to be more disciplined!

Why can’t I be friends with my kids?

Unsure Parent

Chris says:

Hello Unsure Parent!

Parents and children may have more in common these days; watching the same TV shows, listening to the same music and spending endless time on the internet.

But being their ‘friend’ means it’s hard for you to insist on good behavior. You need to set boundaries and rules, teach them to be polite, and have them help with the housework. Because for your children to become independent, confident and capable adults, they also need to learn discipline and good social skills.

Sometimes you’ll have to lean on them pretty hard and be the spoilsport. Otherwise they will always choose the easy way out. It’s like surfing the internet instead of doing your homework.

And asking them politely probably won’t get them to stop fighting, tidy up their room, or turn off the computer.

So you have to use your authority because you know how life works and they don’t. Children often do not understand why you are asking them to do the right thing, so you must insist. With firm and consistent discipline. With clear and predictable boundaries and rules.

Children do much better when their parents lovingly place age-appropriate limits on their behavior.

You should also be a good example. You need to show your children good values ​​such as reliability, honesty and kindness. Show them that you control your impulses, work hard, and are resilient and persistent.

Show them that you value education by taking care of their schoolwork. Be flexible but firm, set clear expectations for your children’s behavior and enforce them. Be warm and affectionate, but maintain your authority and control. Do all this and your children will be a source of joy! He is good-natured, easy-going and has social skills. Durable, success-oriented, mature and responsible.

Because your duty is to prepare your children for life. Not being their friend.

All the best,

Chris